Since then, I have had no choice but to meet new people through joining sixth form college and acting work, but I still get nervous. Yesterday I had some training to do with some casual work I do at my local theatre and I knew I would have to meet a large group of new people and my heart started pumping. But why did I feel this way?
I think it is because I really just want to be liked. In this large world, I have no enemies (that I know of anyway). Of course, I have people that I dislike through them being mean to me or my friends but I don't hate them. I just stay away from them. But if a person is nice to me, I am nice back. So when it comes to new people, I just want them to like me.
I think it also comes down to self confidence. When I was younger, I was quite fat (I am actually the same weight I was when I was 11 believe it or not!) and I was very aware of it and a lot of my friends were thinner then me. This meant I had quite low self esteem and would hide it by being the 'funny' or 'loud' person. But now I still sometimes feel aware of people looking at me and a little voice in my head tells me that they are thinking horrible things about me when really they might be saying nice things like 'ooo I like her top' or 'hmm when's lunch?' So when I meet new people, I always think they might have a bad first impression of me based on my appearance. (I know that's ridiculous but surely I am not the only one right?)
But yesterday, in the morning before I had to go to my training course, I had an epiphany. It hit me like lightning striking a tree in a sudden storm (okay I realise I am just being dramatic now..). Anyway, I realised something. Who cares? Who cares if they don't like my top? Or that maybe I should have had fruit for breakfast instead of leftover cake because now my thighs look fat? The fact is, if people are so quick to judge a person by their appearance then maybe they don't deserve to be your friend. Life is too short to spend time worrying about what people think of you. If you like that 'vintage' top you are wearing that really is your mums and looks like your playing dress-up, then good for you.
And I am going to tell you a secret, they say first impressions count and that they effect show that person thinks of you from then on. Well honestly, that is rubbish. People will always make assumptions about others. Don't say you don't because you do, whether they are good or bad. But first impressions can change. You have the power to change them. And I will now tell you how.
SMILE. That's it. Smile. Because if you walk into a room full of strangers and give the first person you see a smile, they will smile back and they will create a first impression on you through that smile. And that is how you make the best first impression.
But another tip is confidence. Wear something you love and you will automatically feel more confident walking into a room. Maybe if you have some earrings your best friend complimented the other day, pop them in your ears and think about that compliment and you will feel better about wearing them.
And now I will share with you my favourite poem. This is a poem I memorised in my high school that I looked at twice a week for 4 years whilst lining up for P.E class. (Yes I was that geeky kid ;)) And I love this poem so much because it is so simple and true and to this day, I still know it word for word.
Smiling is infectious,
you catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.
I passed around the corner
and someone saw my grin.
When he smiled I realised
I'd passed it on to him.
I thought about that smile,
then I realised its worth.
A single smile, just like mine
could travel round the earth.
So, if you feel a smile begin,
don't leave it undetected.
Let's start an epidemic quick,
and get the world infected!
Hope this wasn't toooo cheesy for you ;)
Love Just Al xxx
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